Joseph had a choice. Mary was kind of locked in, but Joseph…he didn’t have to do it.
In fact, he wanted to not do it.
When Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, the Bible says that he “resolved to divorce her quietly.” What he wanted to do was to check out of the situation. This seemed like the best move to him.
But then he chose to do something different.
The Bible tells us that an angel came to Joseph in a dream. The angel didn’t make Joseph do anything, the angel just presented some new information. The Bible says, “When Joseph woke from his sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.” (Matthew 1:18-25)
He woke up and he chose to do what the angel had said.
When you contrast Joseph’s story in Matthew with Mary’s story in Luke (1:26-38), you can see that Joseph got to choose to participate in a way that Mary did not.
I’m not in any way suggesting that Mary was unwilling. She was certainly delighted to participate. But Mary’s role was undeniable. Her “Yes” was very different from Joseph’s.
Joseph was not the father. He really had no obligation in this matter. It was very much his “right” to walk away. In fact, he initially planned to do so. (Matthew 1:19)
Joseph’s role required him to choose to believe God’s words and participate.
What if he had denied the word of the angel, and divorced Mary anyway? Well…I assume the story would have gone on without him.
And there’s an example in that for us to follow. Too often we think of ourselves as Mary, when real life is a lot more like Joseph.
The “calling” on your life is a lot more like an invitation than an announcement.
Whatever God is asking you to do…if you don’t do it, the story will go on without you. I promise, the Kingdom of God will be just fine.
Mary’s calling was undeniable. She would have known for sure that she’d never been with a man, and yet…here she was pregnant. It’s pretty hard for her to doubt in that situation. Other people might have doubted, but how could she?
Joseph didn’t have that advantage. There was so much more room for the enemy to cast doubt on his encounter with the angel. It was, after all, just a dream.
There would have been so much room for the enemy to cast doubt about Mary in Joseph’s mind. How could Joseph not at least have thought… “what if this immaculate conception is bologna and I’m just getting duped into raising Mary’s boyfriend’s baby?”
I may have lost some of the Catholics in the room at this point. But can we just be real about this? These were real people, just like you and me, trying their best to figure things out and live their lives.
Of course, Mary was truly an amazing human being. Among humans used by God, she had a very special job.
But Joseph is the one who stood up and went to bat for the truth again and again. In faith. When he didn’t have to.
He led his family and protected Jesus multiple times. Each time in faith. Each time just doing his best in a chaotic world.
And that feels a lot like real life.
Most of the time we don’t get the privilege of knowing anything. We look at the evidence, we exercise faith, and we make a decision. And we try our best to do it with joy.
I’ve been asked many times in my ministry, “how do you know…[fill in the blank]?”
How do you know if God is calling you to be a writer? How do you know if you should marry that person? How do you know if you should apply to a writing apprenticeship all the way across the country?
You don’t. Even if an angel should appear to you in a dream, you really still wouldn’t know. It will always require your faith.
Just like Joseph, you’ll have to weigh the evidence and try to say “yes.” Just like Joseph, you’ll have to take a risk that you’re wasting your life.
As you hear the Christmas story this year…and maybe you’ve heard it so many times before it’s just become a thing that people say…remember that these were real people.
Just like you, they were people with their own plans, hopes, dreams, desires, temptations, insecurities, and indiscretions. The birth of Jesus upended all of their expectations for their lives, and made their lives a lot harder.
By every standard of his own society, Joseph was a fool. And that’s why he joins the ranks of historical figures in the Bible who said “yes” to faith.
And it’s the same yes that God asks of you.
And you can do it. Because with each step, God will be there with you.
Merry Christmas. From a real person, doing his best to say “Yes” to Jesus each day, along with his wife (who is perfect like Mary), his kids, and all of the apprentices and your friends here at The Company.
May God use the things that the world says are foolish to confound the “wise” in the coming year.
-Brad Pauquette
Director, The Company
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I love that God gives us a choice. When He called us 6 years ago to move cross country from California to North Carolina, He didn’t demand – He asked, He showed promises, then He asked again.
Am I a Mary or a Joseph? Aren’t we really all a Joseph? Faith is tough, but walking in faith brings such life and light, even amidst a seeming darkness.
Thank you, Brad, for bringing us this insightful message. Still mulling it over…
Merry Christmas, Brad and family and Apprentices.
You’re all amazing gifts in the Kingdom!
Haha, I think most of us are a Joseph. But I have certainly heard some stories of modern people that are overcome by the Holy Spirit in unexpected ways!
I’m glad it was helpful for you. Merry Christmas, Pam!
What a good and timely word and insight! Thank you for sharing this! Amen <3
Merry Christmas!
I’m so glad it was helpful, Joanna!
Good one!
Thanks for reading, Vella!
It’s me, Tammy. I don’t totally agree with you. Mary was chosen by God. God knew her heart and he knew what she would do. In Luke 1, the Bible tells us that the angel visited her, told her what was going to happen, and she questioned how it was possible. After that in verse 38, Mary gave her answer, she didn’t say well I guess I don’t have a choice, or “No God, I can’t do that. Go choose someone else.” Her answer was as it says in verse 38, “And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.” Here is where Mary accepts her calling. She wasn’t pregnant yet but God had already chosen her.
God didn’t choose just Mary. God chose Joseph as well. It took a special kind of woman to accept the mission God gave Mary and God knew that it would take a special kind of man to accept his part in the calling. I believe God chose them both. God knew what they would do. God knew that both of them were going to obey and accept his will. It’s true that God didn’t send his messenger to Joseph before Mary became pregnant. Think of the position that put Joseph in. Mary was clearly with child, Joseph obviously knew that the child could not have been his. If Joseph put Mary away, everyone would know that he was not the father of her child, but if he married her, he had to take responsibility for that child and everyone would assume that the child was his.
While Joseph was trying to decide what he should do, God sent him a message in his dream. When you know, you just know. Joseph knew that it was a message from God. He knew what God wanted him to do and he understood God’s plan. Joseph knew that the Messiah was to be born of a virgin, and he knew that this child was the Son of God. Joseph was clearly aware of the great calling God had just given him. Joseph was chosen to protect Mary and Jesus. He didn’t answer by saying yes Lord I will do this but the Bible says that he immediately took Mary. He knew by doing so, everyone would believe that Jesus was his son. He protected Mary but he was not intimate with her until after she gave birth to Jesus. He did that because Mary was still a virgin and because her child was the Son of God. There was no question in his mind whose child Mary was carrying. I feel like Joseph was locked in as well. How could he turn his back on Mary after receiving his message from God. He knew that he had been chosen as well. He knew what he had to do.
God knew that he had chosen the right couple for his plan. When I read this it reminded me of something. Cait once asked me a question about Abraham and Issac when God told Abraham to sacrifice Issac. Why did God ask Abraham to do that? After all, God knows everything so he knew that Abraham would obey, so why did he ask him to do it. Yes clearly it was a test and clearly God knew Abraham would pass it. This is actually a lot like what happened with Mary and Joseph. I didn’t know how to answer and I asked God. This is what God told me. The test wasn’t so that God could see what Abraham would do. The test was so that God could show Abraham what God would do. Abraham needed to trust God with the life of his son Issac so that God could show Abraham that he could trust God with anything and everything. God would always work it out. God would always do what he said that he would do. This test was meant to strengthen Abraham’s faith.
God knows us better than we know ourselves. I believe God knew exactly who he had chosen and he chose them because he knew that they would obey. Accepting God is always a choice but once you have accepted him, you must obey. Yes some people do fail and some walk away. God’s chosen are those that he knows will accept his calling.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Tammy! It’s great to have you comment.
Which point are you disagreeing with? I read your last line and I was a little confused: “Accepting God is always a choice but once you have accepted him, you must obey. Yes some people do fail and some walk away. God’s chosen are those that he knows will accept his calling.” It seems like you’re saying two things at the same time, but I might just be misunderstanding.
Do you think that our calling is a choice and that some people will fail or walk away? Or are you saying that God only calls people that he already knows will say “yes”?
Looking forward to hearing more about your thoughts.