I am halfway through writing a book that requires the father character to die, starvation or pneumonia due to a weakened system and the main character, his son to be devastated by his death. There is no one to blame so he blames God. Though I have lost my own father and my father-in-law (we were close), as well as many other relatives and people in our church, I have never felt that sad even when someone dies. It is usually a celebration as they lived as a Christian and died believing. The son will not be able to accept this easily but I am hesitating to write this part without a stronger empathy for the character. Any suggestions?
I think this is a great place to utilize your community. While you may not have experienced such a thing, someone has. Is there a person that you could have a conversation with over Zoom or an email exchange to learn more about their experience?
I think “Write what you know” is a flawed idea. I prefer “Write what you know or are willing to learn.” The danger is in relying on second-hand sources, like similar fiction stories. Instead, we have to be bold to ask around and chat with somebody who has truly experienced it. I’ve found that most people are grateful to share their experiences when someone is really willing to listen and truly interested in hearing them.
Hi Sandra,
Asking questions is a great place to start, because it’s not only about empathy for your characters, but also for your readers.
My debut novel, Beyond the Mirage, handled grief and it’s such a tricky topic to discuss! Some of my readers are currently grieving. Some of them just love to read stories about orphans. How I make them all happy?
The short answer is: you can’t make everyone happy with your writing. Ever.
From what you said, you’re about halfway through the first draft of your book. First drafts are inherently rough. They aren’t polished, and that’s okay.
I would focus on just getting the words on the page. After you’re done, you can edit to make it more realistic, more sensitive, more whatever you want it to be.
And then, if this is a book you’re pursuing publishing with, you’ll have professional editors work on it. They’ll make it better. They’ll consider your target audience and genre, and help you spot and fix believability issues.
What I’m trying to say is: the stakes are low if you get it wrong. Just write the scene and see what happens!
One last thing: prayer is the most powerful part of my writing process, especially when I’m writing about things I’ve never experienced.
God has supernaturally helped me (and at least one other writer I know) to realistically write about things we haven’t experienced.
Research can also be helpful, but I’d suggest you try this first: pray, and then put your head down and write the scene. You can always edit it later.
-Vella
The fact that you empathize allows you to describe what it looks like in that character. You’ve seen devastation in people. Having experienced something is what we use to build a relationship with a person to bring about healing, not to describe them. Going to take a guess, but I think writing it will bring you to tears.
